A MYSTERY IN GROAN

About:

It’s a lovely Saturday in the town of Groan. The weather is beautiful, sunny and warm, birdz are chirping and there’s an atmosphere of peace and contentment. However, the grunt entering town knows the peace is only a facade. Underneath it lies an evil influence, and he has come to restore the tranquility he remembers from his childhood.

Gramley and Grumley Gruntz have been accused of robbing the 1^st National Bank of Groan. They have hired their cousin, Lawyer Grimley to defend them, and hopefully find out who did the robbery. Lawyer Grimley needs the assistance of Detective Gromley, who has lived in Groan his entire life. Detective Gromley agrees to help. He gets his gun and the two of them go to the Groan Law Enforcement Center and Jail to see the boyz and the Sheriff, and get the story. The Sheriff also agrees to help, as he’s known the boyz since they were goo, and he knows they couldn’t commit a crime of any kind.

Together, our heroez set out to discover who actually robbed the bank, and clear the namez of Gramley and Grumley.

Map of town: (Even numbered buildings are either on the south or west side of the street; odd numbers are on the north or east side.)

Lawyer Grimley enters town at the northwest corner of the map and beginning from where he’s standing and looking south, the streets running from west to east are 1^st St., numbered 103, 105 and 107; 2^nd St., numbered 200-202; 3^rd St., numbered 300-305, 307 and 311; and So. Palm Dr., numbered 401, 403, 405, and 409.

From the street he’s standing on and going east, the streets running north to south are West Palm Dr., the only building being 101; Fern Rd., numbered 213 and 214; Main St., numbered 109-117 and 119; West River Rd., the only building being 500; and East River Rd., numbered 501 and 505. The address of the largest house in town is No. 1 Groan Place.

Locations and Characters:

Lawyer Grimley grew up in Groan and went to school with Detective Gromley, the Sheriff, the Mayor and Gabrielle Groan Gruntz. He had aspirationz of becoming a Roadz scholar but found it to be a little rocky, and so he earned his Miniature Masterz at the very prestigious Gruntzville Academy instead.

101 Palm Dr. is the home of G.G. Gruntz who manages the Groan 7-11 Store. No one has ever known G.G.’s name. He’s always been called the Manager, and the only reason we know it’s G.G. is because that’s what’s been embroidered on his work shirt from day one. The Manager has never put his trust in bankz, especially now, so he keeps his money hidden under his mattress or the floor boardz in the attic, or buried in the yard. He loves to drive go-kartz every chance he gets and has a number of them in his yard and at the store. As he was walking home on Friday evening, he overheard some guardz in the Mayor’s yard talking about the sudden wealth of the Mayor. Seems he’d gotten his hands on a few precious objectz d’art. Fortunately no one saw him. He will be happy to help with the investigation, and will certainly testify to what he heard.

103 1^st St. is the location of the Groan 7-11 Store. They sell a variety of itemz including food, drink and sundriez. Business is booming, but given the fact that the Manager hates bankz, it is not particularly suspicious that so many thingz are buried around the store.

105 1^st St. is the location of the Groan Law Enforcement Center and Jail. It can house 17 prisonerz w/2 in solitary confinement.

109 1^st St. is the location of the Groan Church. At first glance, there doesn’t seem to be much of interest here. It’s pretty obvious that we shouldn’t dig up the cemetery.

200 2^nd St. is the home of the Minister. He is well-loved in the community, and he and Detective Gromley are neighborz and friendz. Our heroez have found him unconscious behind the church, and he can only remember that as he was the tending the gravez of the No and Back familiez when someone came up behind him and knocked him out. He has no idea why, but he seems to remember seeing two gruntz, dressed in black, heading up Groan Pl. to the Gruntz mansion. Of course, he will be happy to testify to this fact, but for now he’s feeling very weak and would like to remain resting in the church. He explains that the collection is still here because of the bank robbery. No one in town has been able to make any depositz since it happened. He certainly wouldn’t mind if the Sheriff searched his house.

201 2^nd St. is the home of the Mayor. He fondly refers to it as “My Manorhouse.” He has always had political ambitionz. The Lawyer, the Detective and the Sheriff went to school with the Mayor and remember that he was the Student Body President, as well as president of a few other minor clubz, which he thought gave him the right to run everything else in the school as well. He was not well-liked. He grew up very poor and was determined to make a name for himself. As far as the Sheriff and Detective Gromley are concerned, he doesn’t do much and they happen to know that his salary could not possibly support the life-style he has set for himself.

202 2^nd St. is the home of Detective Gromley. From goohood, he has been best friendz with Lawyer Grimley and the Sheriff. They were all interested in law enforcement, but Gromley was not very “politically correct” and hated jumping through the hoopz of the system. He chose private investigationz as his field and has never regretted it. In the past few dayz, he’s noticed an increase of security at the Mayor’s home. He finds this rather suspicious.

301 3^rd St. is Justice Fort’s home. He is a kind grunt, who only wants to see justice served. He is the only grunt in town who refuses to lock his home. He is known around town as a great animal lover and has three petz that he has named King, Trigger and Exit. This house is where Lawyer Grimley grew up. His parentz moved to Gruntzville when he went to college.

303 3^rd St. is the home of the Sheriff. As a young grunt he had an intimidating personality and loved the macho feel of wearing a uniform. He basked in the authority the gauntletz gave him. Fortunately, he mellowed with age, and at this point is only interested in enforcing the law in a just manner. He has his home double locked and keeps some of his salary in a safe in his bedroom.

300, 302, 304 3^rd St. and 401, 403, and 405 So. Palm Dr. are the homez of some of the shop keeperz in town. They haven’t been able to deposit their paycheckz since the robbery.

305 3^rd St. is the Groan Fire Station. Fortunately, there have never been any serious firez in Groan, but with some of the new architecture in town, the possibility certainly exists.

307 3^rd St. is the Groan Courthouse where Justice Fort presidez at his famous purple bench.

311 3^rd St. is the location of the 1^st National Bank of Groan. There is obviously nothing here as the thiefz have dug it dry. The Sheriff has surrounded it with yellow police arrowz to keep out the gawkerz. It looks like at least 82 coinz are missing and possibly much more. It has been rumored that the world-famous antique Warpstone was housed here, as well as four priceless Warp letterz.

409 So. Palm Dr. is the home of the bank Teller. The Teller is found unconscious lying under the police arrowz. (Funny the Sheriff didn’t notice her earlier!) When she comes around, she explains that she was in a back room of the bank at the time of the robbery and didn’t see too much, but she did peek through the door and see two gruntz come into the bank with shovelz. They were dressed in black from head to toe and she couldn’t tell who they were. She tried to sneak out the back door but she was overcome and hit on the head. Our heroez offer to bring her to the hospital, but she would rather have help finding her yo-yo, which, she says, soothes her nervez. She offers Lawyer Grimley refreshment, as he is looking rather flushed. She will be happy to testify to what she saw.

213 and 214 Fern Rd. are the homez of Gramley and Grumley Gruntz. They are twinz and are very close. They do everything together, including work as Firegruntz at the Groan Fire Station. Their favorite sport is Boomerang Catching, which is very popular in Groan. Gramley donz springz to be the catcher and Grumley is extremely proficient in tossing boomerangz. They store their equipment in their homez. On the day of the robbery, they were seen with shovelz preparing to dig behind the Fire Station, and consequently were suspected of committing the robbery. They explained to the Sheriff: “That morning we got a call from Granny at the Flower Shop. There was a cat up a tree behind the shop and it didn’t look well. Could we please come and get it down? Well, we did and unfortunately the cat expired and we were getting ready to bury it when you came to arrest us. Gee whiz, Sheriff, it’s not like we’re the only one’s in Groan with this brand of shovel. It’s practically the only kind you can buy at the Hardware Store.” Although the shovelz were incriminating evidence, the Sheriff believed them.

The Groan Monument stands at the beginning of Main St. Volcanoez have always been highly regarded in Groan and so this replica was chosen to stand in the town square. It would be a shame if anything ever happened to it.

109 Main St. is the location of City Hall. There are those in Groan who think the new City Hall is the most beautiful and modern building they have ever seen. Lawyer Grimley thinks it’s a bit garish. City Hall has always had control of the bridgez in town and presently they are all lowered. Hmmm! For some obscure reason, it’s also being guarded by some rather unsavory characterz. The whole scenario is rather suspicious.

110 Main St. is Granny Gruntz Flower Shop.

111 Main St. is Accessoriez Pluz

112 Main St. is Munitionz and More

113 Main St. is Home Groan Improvementz

114 Main St. is GooFood for Lezz

115 Main St. is Toyz are You

116 Main St. is Main St. Hardware

117 Main St. is The Sporting Gruntz

119 Main St. is Groan Pharmaceuticalz

500 West River Rd. is Groan School on the River. It’s motto is “Baking Goo of the Highest Caliber” but there are those who think it should be “Give Us Money and We’ll Try.” It looks like the blacktop needs to be resurfaced and Lawyer Grimley doesn’t like the look of those bulliez with the rockz, they might hurt the little onez playing with their toyz. They should be sent home as soon as someone can access the principal’s office.

501 East River Rd. is the City Administrator’s home. He is an outsider who came to Groan with a real attitude problem. The Sheriff likes to say “He needs a check-up from the neck up.” Anyway, his credentialz appeared to be good so the town hired him, and from the beginning his answer to every problem has been to throw money at it. He always did admire the architecture of City Hall, and so in time he built his home in the same style. From his back window, he has a good view of the stone wall at the Scenic Overlook and the orchard at the back of the Groan Mansion. It looks like he’s worn a path through the grass up the hill to the overlook. He counts the Mayor as one of his best friendz.

505 East River Rd. is Groan General Hospital. It has 50 bedz, including a birthing room and several recovery roomz. Fortunately, Gruntz don’t need doctorz. (Begz the question why we even need a hospital, huh?)

One Groan Place is the original home of Gomer and Gizelle Groan, who founded the town. Their only daughter, Gabrielle Groan Gruntz, now resides here. Gabrielle was married at a young age to some Gruntz who left her for High Rollerz, at which time she moved into her parent’s mansion on the hill. They have since become gruntz in space, may they rest in peace.

Our heroez find Gabrielle in the garden at the side of the house. She appears to be dead, but Lawyer Grimley (who is also an EMT) takes a shortcut to the hospital where he finds medicine that he hopes will revive her. The medicine works like magic and she comes around. She tells her story: “I was watering my fernz when I heard a commotion inside the house. I went to the front door and found the Butler just standing there, staring at nothing, obviously in shock. I looked inside and saw two gruntz, dressed in black, booby-trapping my house. I thought one of them looked like the City Administrator but I can’t be sure. I then ran to the side of the house hoping to get away, but someone bashed me in the head with a shovel.” Lawyer Grimley encourages her to go to the hospital to recuperate. She agrees but wants to take her favorite dolly for comfort. Has anyone seen it? Before leaving, she mentions that the maid was cleaning the fireplace at the time of the incident. Perhapz she can be of assistance. The maid is very disgruntled and uncooperative. Could she be hiding something? Detective Gromley strongly encourages her to help and then begins to dismantle the booby trapz. He needs to search the house. When he’s done, Lawyer Grimley asks the Butler to stay in the house as he will need to testify as soon as he comes out of his stupor.

The Scenic Overlook, situated on the hill at the end of So. Palm Dr. has long been a favorite spot for gruntz to sit on the stone wall and watch the sun rise or set. From here you can see the whole town.

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So, now you have all the information you need. By the time you finish, the perpetratorz should be in jail and Gramley and Grumley should be free. I hope you have enjoyed my little mystery which probably takes longer to read than it does to play.